Scribbles

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

Still Depressed

Currently listening to: —

Feeling: Photobucket

Prednisone is so potent. On Wednesday I raised the dosage back up to 50mg (10 pills), and immediately began to see effects within hours that the bumps started to settle. The doctor told me to take 50mg for 3 days and then back down to 25mg. So that’s what I did. Yesterday I took 5 pills (25mg) and then…yeah, the effects were immediate also, the bumps came right back. This morning the liquid started to ooze again. And yes, I started crying again. I feel like I’m going to have to be on Prednisone for life or something. My mom told me to take 40mg this morning, so I just did, even though I was supposed to be keeping it at 25mg, but even that in my opinion is too fast a cut.

I don’t know. I feel so, excuse my language, shitty. My whole body aches, my arm is itchy, I can’t focus, I’m irritated, I start bawling randomly from doing nothing. My mind is everywhere and nowhere.

Can’t deal. But I have to. And I will somehow. Because I’m too chicken to too anything stupid to myself. I’ll get through each day somehow. I know I will, no matter how hard and painful. Though, I must admit running in front of a speeding car seems tempting.

I’m trying to smile. I really am. But I’m losing the biggest battle with myself. I’ve probably already lost. Ugh, I’m crying again now. See, this is retarded, crying for no reason at all.

Advertisements

2 Comments»

  selinebyron wrote @

There’s no shame in crying. You have to let out how you feel, and crying is a very good way of doing that. It makes it easier to deal with soon after too. =\ I wish there was something I could do to help, but all I can do is offer my support whenever you need it. Please be strong, don’t do anything bad to yourself. You’ll get through this. I promise.

  xdreamzangelx wrote @

I’ll cry with you every day <3
You're strong and you're doing everything you can i know.
And because of this you'll be the strongest person I'll ever know and when you get through all this, it'll be your best moment and you won't regret it!
You're my motivation to keep going, so please please please hang in there and think of all the ppl you mean everything to, because we're all praying for you!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: