When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

Sick and Depressed Fushi

Currently listening to: —

Feeling: Photobucket

I’m very sick. And very depressed. Being depressed is probably not helping my immune system at all, but I can’t help it.

The “bites” on my arms don’t look like bites anymore. They’re clearly wounds, constantly weeping and never drying up. I basically have 2 huge patches of merged blisters on my arm. Occasionally the liquid is yellow, and it’s useless putting Bactroban on it because the weeping just makes the antibiotic leak all over the place. I still do, though. Small piece of pathetic hope in me. I’m pretty sure I have an infection, and I’m allergic to something. Not sure what. I went to the emergency department at the hospital on Saturday because my dad was freaking out. The doctor there was surprised at my condition also. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he told me to stop covering up the wound with anything. So right now whenever I go outside I get to scare people. I even got sent home from work today when my manager saw my arm.

I hung out with Whitney yesterday. First time in EONS. She gave me my long delayed birthday present haha, that’s how long we haven’t seen each other. Mmm, didn’t do much, just chilled and caught up, but we had a lot of talk about hehe :3 We went to the One’s near my house after my dad came home, and then we had dinner at Boston Pizza. She’s going to be leaving to Orlando with her parents soon, and then she’s off on a cruise. And then she’s going to San Francisco for work until January ;_; *sigh* Won’t be able to see her. We both planned to visit each other in our 2nd term, though :) And I forgot to give Whitney her purchases from One’s as everything was in one bag. Woot for excuses to see her again X3!

I started to break out in what I think are maybe cold sores on my lips yesterday. The doubt is there because I’ve had cold sores before and they were always in the area on the edge of my lip to the skin. These bumps/pimples are ON my lip. They’re really itchy, painful, disgusting and it makes eating difficult :( Speaking of eating, the doctor at the hospital put me on Apo-Cephalex for a week, as I told him Fucidin Cream and Bactroban are proving to be ineffective. So far, I see no improvement. I’ve also broken up in little itchy red spots ALL OVER MY BODY, including my face and ears. It started last Thursday and I get more every day. Chicken pox? Unlikely, I’ve gotten it before and I don’t have a fever. Each little mark has fluid inside. Not much, just a bit. I really would have mistaken them for pimples, but they’re all over my body. There’s one on my left ear I accidentally scratched, and I think it’s infected now, because whenever it dries, it forms a yellow crust >.> I also scratched another one on my other ear, and it was bleeding.

I’m just miserable right now. Having the rash/wound/infection on my arm for over 2 months with no signs of improvement is really making me sad. I’ve completely lost my faith in doctors and specialists (I’ve seen 3 doctors and 1 dermatologist, and they were all clueless. I’m seeing another dermatologist tomorrow, but it’s more for peace of mind than anything). And now I have to worry about the itchiness all over my body. It’s difficult to sleep at night, which I believe is also contributing to my horrid immune system. I just slept for a few hours downstairs and woke up to the pimples/cold sores on my mouth spreading.

Another thing I have to worry about is the results from my ultrasound/whatever scan thing I did on Saturday before I went to the hospital. I told my doctor that I get a tummy ache every time I eat. She told me it’s probably nothing big, but advised me to check it out. So I went on Saturday, and did X-rays as well. What worries me, though, is that while the lady was scanning my tummy/some organ in my belly, she drew some red and blue arrows on the computer screen after taking the pictures. I couldn’t really make out anything except black and gray shapes, but the red and blue arrows she mapped out are worrying me. Like, if it was just one colour, maybe it’s not something bad, but 2 colours are making me think things.

I really hope I get better before school starts. I don’t need more stress. It’s such a hassle putting on clothing, taking care not to touch my infectious arm and all. I also can’t wear long sleeves, and from the rate things are going, it’s going to be winter before I get better. Actually, I hope I get better before Andrew comes back on his trip. I don’t want him to see me looking like this. Why is my immune system so terrible?


  selinebyron wrote @

Hang tight Fushiko and be positive >< It's tough but they are doctors for a reason, I'm sure one of them is smart enough to figure it out. Keep smiling! Remember all the people who love you, if that's not enough to smile, then nothing is. =)

  blobsofdoom wrote @

I’m hanging in…;_; I just went to see a Chinese doctor. She felt my pulse and told me what was wrong. Apparently I waited too long to go seek help, and the bacteria/infection/toxic crap from stupid bug has already spread throughout my body via blood stream. The itchy bumps all over my body is the result of this. She said no amount of cream is going to work, so she gave me herbs and stuff. She said try it for 3 days first. Essentially I have to cleanse my body from internally, and I can’t eat chicken, eggs or seafood. Just lots of fruits and veggies to get rid of toxic stuff in me. My immune system has to be boosted to fight for itself.

  selinebyron wrote @

*hires some anime cheerleaders for your immune system* GOO IMMUNE SYSTEM! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

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